Birthdays! Also, ups and downs.

Hello awesome people! It’s been a while. I haven’t been much around here only because I’ve been finding my thoughts and they’re just scattered. I honestly haven’t been focused at all lately. So many thoughts have been floating around my head lately.

I am still working at Kohl’s thankfully and I love it thus far. Everything is running smoothly like I had hoped. Working in retail (if you have never worked in it personally) could be really easy or could ruin your day for the rest of your life! (Exaggeration ensues). I personally think it’s an easy job for now.

In other great news, my son turned four this past week! You know how some memories you can’t recall but others you remember vividly? His birth was one of the more vivid, if not THE most vivid memory I have. And yes I’m going to tell you the story so sit tight!

Throughout my pregnancy, I’ve had little complications other than being super emotional and dizzy here and there. The original date for my son to be born was July 14th. All my doctor’s appointments were going great, although, early on I was scared that the doctor couldn’t hear his heart but that was about eight to ten weeks into my pregnancy. He started growing normal after that and I knew he was healthy just by what my doctor would tell me. Everything was going great on my last appointment at the doctor’s, they told me that I was due for another ultrasound and to go over to their office after the appointment. My plans that day were to go to the doctor, get an ultrasound and then the hospital so I could book my birthing room (and I think to get groceries too). Luckily, everything was close by so I didn’t have to wear myself out in the summer heat.

I go to the ultrasound place, and what’s cool about that place is that they give you a DVD of your little bundle of joy swimming around so you could enjoy it for years to come. They didn’t do that at my other doctor’s so that’s one of the reasons why they sent me. But in all honesty, I can’t remember exactly why they sent me to that ultrasound place for. Oh well. I had just finished my appointment with the ultrasound when I get a call from my doctor asking when my due date was. I told them July 14th but I didn’t feel that my baby was going to make it for that much longer so they asked me to come back to their office. The doctor ended up checking me for the second time that day and she so simply told me to wait for her at the hospital and that my baby was ready to come out. In my disbelief, I had to ask her several times if she was sure she needed me to go to the hospital. She finally reassured me (for the fourth or fifth time that I asked) that my son was ready.

I called my husband, who was still my fiancé at the time, to come over immediately. I told him to come to the hospital and that we could have a baby in our arms really soon. I don’t think he’s hauled so much ass to a single place in his life, he got to the hospital so quick. When I told my parents, they were practically the first ones at the hospital (second only behind me, I beat them to it).

While at the hospital, I had to be induced only because he was low on fluids and he needed to come out fast. Contractions hurt. PERIOD. Worse than any period pain I have ever felt in my life. I have a new found appreciation for mother’s that give birth naturally. I couldn’t take the contractions anymore so I opted for an epidural in the middle of the night. You have no idea how much of a life saver that was for me. I finally got to relax a little bit with every contraction giving me more sickness and making me throw up what little I had in my body. They did put me on another medication for the dizziness but it made it worse. Never again.

So, I went into the hospital around 5pm and my son was born 9am the next morning. Not too bad of a labor considering I’ve heard that some women could last 24 hours or more. Ouch much? And my poor hubby had to endure everything with me. He had to sleep on the couch that they had there even though I offered him to sleep next to me. He told me that when our baby was coming out, all he could see was a round fuzzy head. He also told me that when the placenta came out after our baby, that it looked like a human heart. I guess they look like deflated balloon, full of veins and some fluid (eww). Isaiah was born on June 29th at 9:48 am, weighing 5lbs and 11ounces. I completely broke down when I heard him cry for the first time, I couldn’t be happier that this little human being came into our lives. The rest is history.

Now he’s a four year old that I can’t catch up with! I need to work out some more just to be on his level. Also, for his birthday we had a Super Mario themed party!

You know, telling that story makes me feel a lot happier than when I started typing this post. I’ll keep that happiness up for the rest of the day, or at least try to.

Also, the countdown for my cousin’s wedding in California is on! It’s on August 20th and we’ve sent our RSVP’s out already. My mom keeps buying me dresses so I could wear to the wedding but I bought one I really liked. Who knows, maybe I’ll wear 2 dresses that day just to be comfy. More on that later.

Thank you for reading if you have gotten this far! Till next time!

 

Climbing back up the mountain

Hello! I’ve been gone for quite a while. Things haven’t changed much except for the fact that I have another job and I finally got to see an advisor for school! I recently saw the advisor yesterday so that gives me something really awesome to look forward to. I haven’t been to school in almost 10 years! It honestly took me too long to figure out what I’m going to major in but I finally pinned it down to Architecture. When I first started going to college, I had no clue what to do with my life (as I’m sure many people feel the same way). I even had a friend who was going to major as an Architect, but who knows what happened to that dude (never spoke to him again after that semester I met him). Luckily, architecture involves a ton of drawing which I absolutely love to do; so I found myself a career without being a “starving artist”.

As for my job? I found another part time job at Kohl’s. The overall atmosphere is way better than my last job. Everybody is really welcoming, super sarcastic, happy and outgoing; I think I’ll stay with this job for a while. Still looking for another job in the mean time, need to pay those bills.

Anything else that I’m missing? I turned 28 on April 4th. It was an ok birthday. Nothing too stellar. Just another day that went by in all honesty.

Oh! I am hoping to go to one of my cousin’s weddings this August. I’m kind of really excited because it’s in California and I’m here in Texas. I hope the rest of my family will go too so we could have a big family vacation. All I truly want to do is go to the beach. Last time I went to California was last summer for my baby’s birthday in June. My hubby and I took my baby to Disneyland primarily. My son had turned 3 and was kind of too scared to go on any rides so I was content with being in Disneyland and walking around because, hey it’s Disneyland. There’s magic everywhere and it made me happy being with my family. We also went to the beach, but it was getting late when we arrived so my son didn’t get to see much of the ocean. This time around, I hope to go early so we could enjoy the sun and surf. Don’t want to get my hopes up though because there’s so much going on with the rest of my family lately. Crossing my fingers!

Hope all is well with you and your life! My life is on the mend and I want things to keep looking up. Have an awesome day!

On the search again…

I’m back searching for a new job again. Recently I got hired at a retail department store and I was really excited. I thought I was going to be great and give great customer service. Well, my first day, went well (I thought). That feeling quickly got crushed the second I stepped into the manager’s office and started talking. The manager ask me how I thought my day went and I let her know that everything went fine and I liked having the job. It wasn’t until she was telling that she was not happy with my performance for the day that I felt defeated.

When I arrived at work for my first day, I was introduced to a few people and was sent to shadow one of the girls (lets name her Eve) until she left for the day. Basically, I watched what everyone was doing and tried to absorb as much as possible. Following co-workers around like a puppy, it honestly made me feel awkward. Also because I realized I was one of the older ones working there, most of which are kids in college. As time was passing by, Eve had run into another girl that worked there (lets call her Krystal) but was shopping around the mall. They were discussing how they hated the job to begin with. While the conversation was going on, there was literally nothing to do around me. Plus, I don’t know where everything goes or how things go so I’m entirely lost. All while this is happening, our manager walks up to us and tells Eve to get back to work and to get those credit applications up (there needs to be at least five customers applying for a new credit card everyday) so she sends us a credit card table in the front entrance of the store. Still with nothing to organize or customers to even talk to, we continue to talk to Krystal. Looking back, I did feel that the manager was watching us the whole time but what am I supposed to do not knowing anything.

The day continues and Eve leaves for the day and I end up working with this pretty chill guy (lets call him Mike). Mike taught me a ton more things with the register and where lost items go and such. The rest of my day passed by with no hick-ups, except that customers were coming in like crazy.

The end of my shift is near and I’m called to the office so I could finish up my log in. So then my manager ask how I felt everything went and I tell her that I did like the job but that I’m lost and I’m still learning. After I finish, she proceeds to tell me that she’s not happy with my performance. In my head I’m thinking, well this is my first day and what does she really expect for me to be doing? She continues by telling me that I was just standing around and talking the whole time and not doing anything. Still in my head, well duh I’m not doing anything because I have no clue what the f*ck I’m doing to begin with! She kind of wanted to blame Krystal for talking to Eve, and I had the slightest feeling that she thought I knew them personally but I don’t want to assume. She did assume though. She started talking about how when she was on the sales floor she would finger measure racks and color block and size block all the racks and shelves, etc. First of all, I’ve never worked at a clothing retail store and my resume showed that. I’ve worked at a shoe store, but a long ass time ago so I didn’t even put that on my resume. How does she truly expect me to know the tiniest details such as those? All while she kept talking to me and reprimanding me, I just nodded my head and agreed with her comments.

I finished up my log in information with another HR manager thankfully, but to be honest I left there feeling the lowest I have in a long time. I might just be too sensitive or I completely missed something but it truly made me feel like crap. Is this what working in retail is like? I pray to God not. Am I going to encounter people like that manager? That answer is yes. Am I just too sensitive? At this point in my life, I know I don’t want to treat people like she does on a daily basis. I treat people with a benefit of a doubt and give people a chance. She didn’t with me and that’s what really brought me down. I know I’m sensitive and I cry with every single Disney movie in existence, but I also know that I don’t want to be treated like that ever again. I’m an adult and I should be treated as such, not like a five year old. I wasn’t given the chance to perform my duties after a proper training. That in itself makes me really upset.

I was supposed to go into work today, but I’m not going back to a place where they judge so quickly for only the first day. Call it being a baby or immature, it doesn’t really matter to me. I’m never again applying for a retail job that treats me like crap. No wonder everyone has been quitting there left and right.

Also, I apologize for being so repetitive sometimes. I’m learning not to do so! Not being in school for so long has left my brain a little dead. Looking to change that! Thanks again for reading if you made it this far from my rambling. Have an awesome day!

Falling down, “hello rock bottom”

Hello!

Lately I’ve been really down on myself, and there are a ton of reasons why. So here’s the background on my life recently, back in January I quit my job because I’ve been feeling complacent and I really didn’t like it. I was kind of losing myself as far as who I was before working at my desk job. While working there, I found myself drawing and painting when I should’ve been doing my actual job. I was painting more and more until I came to the realization that my work was going down hill. My numbers basically plummeted, so I ended up quitting because I truly felt unhappy where I was at. Next thing you know, I’m out of a job and I’m looking frantically for a new one, but that was almost 2 months ago.

All this is just my job situation. While I was still working at my desk job I had applied for another job working for the city. The process took about 5 months until they finally told me that I didn’t get the job. It was pretty bittersweet too because the very same day that they sent the email, my husband, sister in-law, her husband and daughter went to a Green Day concert in El Paso.

Just to go off on a tangent, Green Day puts on an amazing show. They had people come up on stage and sing with the band with the whole place watching. One lucky little girl got to keep one of Billy Joe’s guitar! That to me shows that they don’t have that “rock star” mentality like most bands do. It warmed my heart to be honest, and it showed me that famous people do have big hearts sometimes. By the end of the show though, we were all worn out. 2 hours of Billy Joe Armstrong yelling so much, it’s amazing that he can keep a crowd going and holy wow, was I impressed lol. Not many shows that I’ve been to keep that kind of energy for half as long, let alone 2 straight hours.

All in all, one bad event happened but an even better event overshadowed my sadness. Thank goodness to say that I finally found a part time job just today! It’s at Sears but I’m willing to give this job all I got while I go back to school again.

There are so many things that are being thrown at me right now that I can barely catch up. Family, paperwork, insurance, money. It’s all making me feel really worn down and I cry myself to sleep sometimes, but I can’t cry anymore because it gives me headaches. My husband keeps telling me to keep my head up and to be honest, it’s helping me a lot when he says to be positive. I think if all this happened to me 5 years ago, I might not have recovered so quickly. Let’s just say that 2017 hasn’t been my year, but there’s still the rest of the year to go. High five for positivity! There’s still a lot more I want to say about my troubles but I don’t want to bore you so much with my woes.

Thanks for reading! Till next time!

Babies? Big changes are coming!

Hello! Recently after my first blog post, one of my cousins had a beautiful baby girl. Her name is Sophia Annalee and she has the cutest cheeks I’ve seen to date lol. It seems to be baby fever within my family because in the past year there have been 3 other little babies born. I have a 3 year old son myself and it does make me want to grow my family, but there are so many changes that are happening right now.

Well, first things first. Not too long ago (the end of January to be exact), I quit my job at a health insurance company that I worked at for the past 3 years. The atmosphere there was awesome; I could not say a bad thing about the company and the job itself. It was mostly data entry so things were easy. The building itself however was a different story, but it’s not the reason why I left. I left because I needed a change of atmosphere and I wanted to go back to school to finally start my career. I’m going back for drafting and design, and I’m hoping to graduate with a degree in architecture.

Jobs have been a different story though. There has been one job that has taken almost 5 months to process. Talk about taking forever! It’s a city job so I kind of understand where they’re coming from (background checks and making sure you’re not a criminal I’m assuming). I applied in early November and I just had an interview yesterday (Friday morning). I’ve been so nervous with this job that when I was still working at my last job, I was getting in trouble with my boss because of my numbers. I guess the changed scared me so much that I wasn’t paying attention to how bad my work being affected. Whether or not I do get this job or not, I’m still going to keep looking for a part time job just so I can go back to school.

With all the changes, my biggest concerns are my baby and hubby. I’m scared of the financial stress I might cause. Thankfully I have enough money saved up for now, but looking for a job is top priority. I want to set the example for my baby that hard work (and even some failures) pay off in the long run. I also have the best hubby that I could ever ask for. He’s my biggest support is primarily the reason why I’m making all these changes. Before meeting him, I really had no direction in what I wanted to do with my life. We’ve been together for 4 years and married for 2. It has taken me a while for me to get the ball rolling but only because I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do; even after I met my husband. While I was working, I only wanted to support my family and not really take into consideration what I wanted to do in the long run. With losing my job, it all hit me at once. I finally know the direction that I want to go in and if it means losing one job or several, so be it. Things happen the way they need to happen and I honestly couldn’t be more happy than where I’m at right now.

Here’s to finding my path in life! Even if I’m kind of old (I’m 27 lol) , it doesn’t bother me so much like it would have 5 years ago. Change needs to happen in my life and I’m taking it all as a sign that great things will come.

Thank so much for reading! Talk to you next time!

My first ever blog post!

Hello lovelies! So, this is my first ever TRUE blog post! But, remember the Myspace days where you were able to post blogs there too? Oh well, back to the main subject. MY FIRST BLOG POST!

I’m completely new to posting anything like this. I usually post most of my thoughts on Instagram. If you stop by there, you would tell that I’m kind of a nerd at times. I like to paint and draw, I post mostly of my son and husband, there are occasional selfies and I like to post some inspirational quotes when I fell a little down just to cheer myself up.

What my overall goal for this blog is to be open with myself, maybe gain a little bit of confidence in the process. One thing about me is that I’m extremely shy. I’m such an introvert that the shell that I hide in, is inside 100 other shells. I’m hoping to break that though. Also, there is a ton of stuff that I want to say about my life. My ups and downs. My accomplishments and failures. Like for instance, I forgot my car keys in my husband’s glove box and I had a ton of errands to do today (why brain, why).

Blogging is something that I also want to stick with for a little while. Don’t know how long (I’m super forgetful) but long enough where I feel satisfied in getting to know people from all over this beautiful planet.

Thanks for reading thus far! See you in the next blog!